13 month old does sleep study

Hi, I am Soren Balderas. My mom has asked me to be the guest blogger today. I want to inform you of the results of my latest sleep study. In the event you find the information helpful, no need to thank me, I'm happy to help.
First, let me start by saying that if you have a choice, don't go for that "crib" stuff. What kind of treatment is that?! They sleep together, what makes them think we want to sleep alone? So if you happen to awake and find yourself in this unwelcome environment, my advice is that you make your opinion known as loudly as you can, to ensure a secure spot in the "real" bed.
Once you're there, you will discover that mom is usually more snugly than dad. Stick with her. No really, stick with her, like glue. Given a chance, she will probably try to position you somewhere in no-man's-land-middledom. Don't go for it. If you are not up next to her, you won't feel it when she tries to escape to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
The best way to keep your eye on her and still get some shuteye is to place your head directly on top of her's. My mom likes to sleep on her side, so this makes it easy to lie cheek to cheek. Try to lay your head down gently, but hey, accidents happen! If you fall asleep like this and drool starts to drip from your open mouth, don't worry about it. She was probably thirsty anyway.
In the event that this head sandwich style doesn't work for you, and immediately carry you to the land of sweet dreams, try repeatedly slapping mom's forehead with the palm of your hand.
As far as dad goes, try to ignore him while keeping him in his place. From the head sandwich position it is easy to lie horizontal in the bed, forming a wedge with your body between mom and dad. You want to prevent any kind of interaction that may result in ending up back in the crib!
Take it for what it's worth, guys, but it works for me! Now go get some zees!