Tuesday, January 6, 2009

13 month old does sleep study

Hi, I am Soren Balderas. My mom has asked me to be the guest blogger today. I want to inform you of the results of my latest sleep study. In the event you find the information helpful, no need to thank me, I'm happy to help.
First, let me start by saying that if you have a choice, don't go for that "crib" stuff. What kind of treatment is that?! They sleep together, what makes them think we want to sleep alone? So if you happen to awake and find yourself in this unwelcome environment, my advice is that you make your opinion known as loudly as you can, to ensure a secure spot in the "real" bed.
Once you're there, you will discover that mom is usually more snugly than dad. Stick with her. No really, stick with her, like glue. Given a chance, she will probably try to position you somewhere in no-man's-land-middledom. Don't go for it. If you are not up next to her, you won't feel it when she tries to escape to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
The best way to keep your eye on her and still get some shuteye is to place your head directly on top of her's. My mom likes to sleep on her side, so this makes it easy to lie cheek to cheek. Try to lay your head down gently, but hey, accidents happen! If you fall asleep like this and drool starts to drip from your open mouth, don't worry about it. She was probably thirsty anyway.
In the event that this head sandwich style doesn't work for you, and immediately carry you to the land of sweet dreams, try repeatedly slapping mom's forehead with the palm of your hand.
As far as dad goes, try to ignore him while keeping him in his place. From the head sandwich position it is easy to lie horizontal in the bed, forming a wedge with your body between mom and dad. You want to prevent any kind of interaction that may result in ending up back in the crib!
Take it for what it's worth, guys, but it works for me! Now go get some zees!

10 comments:

Priscilla said...

OMG THIS IS SO FUNNY, YET SO TRUE. Gosh I miss having a baby around. My babys are over 5, my oldest soon to be a teen!

Oh Boy...Oh Boy...Oh Boy said...

I LOVE IT!! I have a almost 1 year old and he has mastered these techniques despite it just being he and I in the bed he's always on top of me too. Some days I opt for him to sleep with his head on my chest or arm to know he won't be stabbign me with his sharp little toes.

Kim said...

this is so funny!

A Family Completed... said...

That gave me a good laugh. I think Owen got the memo. Although we do not co-sleep we have had a few nights of nothing else was working! He slept on my face... Then decided as long as we share a pillow and are as close as humanly possible that would do too. I ended up with a hug wetspot on my pillow before I FINALLY got him back in his crib. And he didn't want ANYWHERE near daddy either. UGH! I hope you get her sleeping more independently soon!
I came over from Two of a Kind Working on a Full House. I entered her giveaway there. I really love your work :)

Valerie said...

Oh so true! Thanks for the laugh, nice to remember in this sleep deprived fog...and my children aren't even newborns anymore!

Ashki said...

LOL!!! Thanks for the laughs - although my son has always been a good "alone" sleeper, I can totally see this happening with our next one!

Cyndee ><>

Missy said...

omg that was sooo funny!!

indidi said...

This really made me laugh!!! You captured my memories of a typical nights 'sleep' perfectly!!! Now just add baby wombats and possums climbing over your face as they try to join the family bed and you have a rural Australian scene!

Staci said...

Love it! It sounds just like our house. The little one snuggles up against me and does his best to kick daddy out of the bed altogether!

Emma Jones said...

this LITERALLY made me cry i was laughing so hard - TOO FUNNY! i will make sure Ruby never sees this post... (-: