To My Valentine...

Happy Valentines Day, "P." I love you.

Love Sonnet LXXXIX

by Pablo Neruda

When I die, I want your hands on my eyes:

I want the light and the wheat of your beloved hands

to pass their freshness over me once more:

I want to feel the softness that changed my destiny.

I want you to live while I wait for you, asleep.

I want your ears still to hear the wind, I want you

to sniff the sea’s aroma that we loved together,

to continue to walk on the sand we walk on.

I want what I love to continue to live,

and you whom I love and sang above everything else

to continue to flourish, full-flowered:

so that you can reach everything my love directs you to,

so that my shadow can travel along in your hair,

so that everything can learn the reason for my song.

Happy Birthday to me...kind of...

Yesterday was my birthday, and a beautiful day for the beginning of February. I am usually sick on my birthday, so I woke with cautious optimism that this year would be different. Well, I wasn't disappointed. It was definitely different. Here's the rundown:

*) Wake to hugs and snuggles from the kids and Papi--"Happy birthday, Mama. Can we have some birthday cake?"

*) Change Soren's diaper. He won't be still, I get green poo all over my leg and clothes.

*) Take shower and start over.

*) Feed Soren and Marina breakfast. Cereal for her, fresh oranges and blackberries for him--tons of them. All is well. Cool.

*) Decide to go to Nauticus museum for awhile, then have picnic and take Rocco the dog.

*) Pack picnic, dress kids, having fun. Load kids in carseats and Rocco in the back.

*) Start to drive away. Soren's breakfast revisits us. All over the carseat, his clothes, his hair, his toys.

*) Soren gets a bath. We try leaving again. I think it was a mistake to give him citrus, and then milk. Lesson learned.

*) Scratch museum idea. Better just go to the park. Pick up carrot cake. Feed Soren applesauce.

*) Applesauce revisits, all over carseat and clothing and toys. I start to worry. Use last spare outfit.

*) Wonderful time at the park with invited family. Kids play, fly paper airplanes, adults play cards and soccer. Lie in the sun's warmth on a blanket. All is well. Sigh of relief.

*) Soren continues to be happy and does not appear sick in any way except the vomiting. We come home and I feed him. He covers me in vomit. At least the park was fun.

*) Begin to research causes of vomiting. Remember that he pulled some craft beads from a box this morning and spread them all over the floor before I found him. Maybe he swallowed some?

*) Call emergency nurse line. She tells me to take him to the ER immideately. May have beads stuck somewhere. Drag Marina out of the tub and rush to ER. I would rather be sick myself. My poor baby!

*) Spend next 5 hours in ER. I am told not to feed Soren anything. He is starving and screaming. Marina is restless. Papi thinks I am crazy for dragging them all here.

*) Staff is wonderful and caring. I see many people with children much sicker than mine, parent's faces riddled with worry. Infants screaming and teenagers in pain.

*) Soren is OK. They do x-rays and find nothing. He drinks pedialite and then eats crackers and keeps it all down. I hug my babies tight and smile at my husband. This birthday was not so bad. I shared it with those I love most, we are safe and happy and healthy (for the most part) and life is good. I have nothing to complain about. I've lived to see another year and I have a good feeling it's going to be the best yet!

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Betta Fish Blues--Help!

Marina was given our betta fish, Felix, for Christmas by her Ghee & Papa. She loves him and takes comfort that he "sleeps" in her room with her at night. I just found that he is ill and has a large hole in the side of his head! The picture is terrible, but you can make out the white spot on the side of his face. He is the only living thing in his tank, besides a water lily sprouting. We feed him flakes and dried worms, what is commonly recommended for bettas. Does anyone have any advice on what to do with this little guy? Marina will be heartbroken if he doesn't make it. This is our first attempt at fish, so any ideas would be helpful. Thanks!